Ugly, Inside and Out

The man whom I had married was not the man I now knew.  This was a different man, a spiteful, childish and hateful man.  He agreed to a marriage counselor, so I very specifically told him to find someone, “who is licensed, experienced and holds a degree in counseling, and not someone who relies on Christianity to heal.”  He found someone, but did not follow my very specific criteria.  The woman he found had a PhD in Industrial Design (!) and had some experience in marriage counseling.  She also had a very strong Christian orientation, but I agreed to talk with her and asked the ex to book the first session.

Prior to the session, he told me that he’d confess all of his wrongdoing to her, take responsibility for his actions, and look for ways for us to heal and move on.

That’s not what happened.

Instead, he talked with her and unbeknownst to me, had given her his version of why our marriage was failing.  Why?  Because of me.  Because of my inability to adjust to married life.  Because of my incompetence as a housewife.  I just couldn’t handle it.

He repeated this opinion during our first session.  I was devastated.  It was a classic “bait and switch.”  After the session, I felt so defeated and angry.  I sent her a text message and told her that I would not meet again; that I had to work on healing myself.  I then spoke with him and told him that he’d played his last hand with me.

I blocked him on my phone.  I haven’t spoken with him for almost five months.  I have no intention of speaking with him.  And, I’ve served him with divorce papers.

He continues to call me from mysterious numbers.  I know it’s him because I don’t know anyone in Mississippi.  He continues to send things to my PO Box – money, cards, notes – in an effort to try to bait me into contacting him.  He even convinced his idiotic niece to call me.  I spoke with her, and then blocked her also.

I’ve no desire to talk with him or anyone in his family.  It’s over.

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